Veins of Glass
by Raven The Dark Angel
Summary: Chapter 5 Added! Rogue attempts suicide. If that wasn't already enough the psyches are threatening her control. Will she be able to take back her life from them or will they destroy her and those around her? And is Remy an enemy or friend? ROMY.
1. Author's Note Please Read

**Disclaimer:** Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own the X-men and neither do you.

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Revision Notes:**

For those of you that have read this before, I have decided to rewrite what was done. The plot has fluctuated and has been changed to seem more realistic. For the most part the prologue stays the same with chapter one having various events from the original placed at different times. I'd wish of you to please re-read all revised chapters so you don't get confused. This now takes place after Apocalypse in the series.

**Reasons:**

Mostly I felt like the relationship seemed a little unrealistic between Rogue and Remy. I thought it was kind of silly for her to forget about him and not know who he was at first and have her confide in him. I changed the time it takes place because now they have been aquatinted with each other a little more because of "Cajun Spice". I feel after that episode they developed this sorta hate/friendship which will explain how they act around each other a little more… well hopefully, heh heh. Also Rogue is going to stay in the infirmary much longer than before along with the professor paying much more attention to her because I feel like they should really be taking her actions seriously. All in all I hope this does come out as more realistic all together… and if not… I can always rewrite and make you guys go crazy again. Hehe ^_~!

**Warning: **

The following contains references to drug abuse, suicide, major angst, slight Jean bashing, Romy (Rogue x Remy), Lancity (Lance x Kitty), and Pyro madness. If you are offended or dislike these things I don't want to hear you whine!


	2. Prolouge: Requiem For Survival's Suicide

**Disclaimer: **Featured today is the oh so lovely song by Evanescence "Tourniquet", which in fact does not belong to me. But one of their billions of copies of their CD does. *squeals and hugs the case* 

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Prologue: Requiem for Survival's Suicide**

            Rock music blared in the bedroom as the girl unconsciously swung her foot to the beat. She lounged on her bed deaf to the world. For now this very moment she could forget about everything.

            _I tried to kill the pain_

            Brushing back a strand of white and red hair out of her face, she lit the joint. She placed it to her lips and sucked the smoke into her lungs and exhaled the drug with her eyes gently shut. The marijuana quickly contaminated her system leaving her brain light and fuzzy. She smiled as she continued to smoke.__

            _But only brought more_

            It wasn't the first time she had done this. Oh no… Not the first at all. She had done it so many times she had lost count so long ago. This was her escape. An escape from the hellish sting that reality would burn her with everyday. Sure everyone knew she was depressed. However none of them could ever fathom how deep life ripped her fragile heart apart. She tired to act tough. She hid her pain around her rude disposition, just another barrier to distance herself from getting close to anyone.

_I lay dying_

            How could anyone understand what she was going through? They all took for granted what she secretly wished for. Something she could never obtain, no matter how many sessions with the Professor or prayers to God. She was damned never to be able to touch another human being.

_And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal_

            So she was alone. Forever alone…

            _My God My Tourniquet_

_            Return to me Salvation _

_My God My Tourniquet_

_            Return to me Salvation_

            Rogue frowned. She sighed finished and slowly arouse to open the window to air out the smoke before Kitty came home. Crawling back on the bed she curled her legs towards her chest and hugged them tight. Why did it have to be this way? She held her breath trying to fight the tears she knew would always come. No. She wouldn't cry this time. She tilted her vision towards the ceiling hopelessly trying to keep her tears at bay, but they slowly spilled from her pained green eyes rolling down her cheeks to splatter on her shirt.

            _Do you Remember me_

            God! She couldn't take it anymore. The anguish throbbed inside her bleeding heart like no other. Violent sobs racked her throat. Everything ached. She laid back wiping the moisture from her face as her lungs burned with jagged intakes of air.

            _Lost for So Long_

            What was the point? She held her face thanking the loudness of the music that covered her sharp cries of pain. Everyone lived such happy carefree lives. It wasn't fair! Why couldn't she have the same?! Why was she tortured with these awful uncontrollable mutant powers of hers?! She didn't want to be here anymore…

_I'm Dying Praying Bleeding and Screaming_

            She loved to be alone? Who was she fooling? Ha! She wanted to be with people so bad it rattled the very core of her soul. Oh to be able to be in love and to touch their face… to kiss them… 

            _Am I too Lost to be Saved?_

            No… that kind of life was ripped from her grasp the very day she was born only for it to be thrown in her face everyday by watching others around her. They had relationships. They didn't think anything of how precious it was.

            _Am I too lost?_

            Tears streamed down Rogue's face as she pulled open her dresser draw. She hysterically threw the clothing on the floor one by one to find the one thing that would relieve her. She calmed her frenzy holding what would set her free tight in her grasp. No… not drugs. Not this time. She had enough…

            _My God My Tourniquet_

_            Return to Me Salvation_

            Rogue sat on the bed and slowly removed her leather gloves. She snapped the blade of the pocket knife out. She gazed at the metal mesmerized by the shine of the moonlight reflected upon it. She had enough…

            _My God My Tourniquet_

_            Return to Me Salvation _

            No more would she have to suffer watching longing as the others held hands, as others grew close to each other, as others loved one another… She would finally stop the pain that was eating away at her tattered heart. Finally it would end…

            _My Wounds Cry for the Grave_

            In one swift motion she slashed her wrists. The cut stung with her insides open to the invading air. Crimson warmth trickled down her arm, down her hands, to the floor staining everything in its path like her powers staining her soul.

            _My Soul Cries for Deliverance_

            Rogue closed her bloodshot eyes as she let the tears flow, no longer fighting them. This was it. The end… She could finally have her peace… no more of this pain…

            _Will I be Denied Christ_

            "Stripes?! HEY!" Logan shouted pounding on the door trying to be heard over the music, "Turn that damn racket down! You hear me?!"

            _Tourniquet_

            With no reply he angrily slashed the lock open with his claws and stormed in. He froze at the sight that lay before him. There she was head hung low with arms limply resting on her legs blood pooled at her feet.

            _My Suicide…_

            Logan rushed toward the girl grabbing her by the forearms. "What the hell are you thinking?!" he growled shaking her to try to rouse her.

            She still didn't respond. His heart pounded as fear began to seep into his system.

            "Rouge!" he screamed his breath quickening. Oh god… she couldn't be…

            He didn't have time to think anymore! He quickly snatched her from her bed cradling her in his arms and sprinted toward the infirmary.

  


**Author's Note:** Sound better to you guys? I know I kinda made it into a song fic but I dunno.. I thought it was fitting. Tell me what you think.


	3. Ch01: Invisible Whistle's Reality

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Chapter 1: Invisible Whistle's Reality**

            Rogue opened her eyes squinting at the overhead lights. She grumbled feeling her head pound as she tired to focus her vision on the person beside her. The bouncing brown mass soon formed the shape of a ponytail attached to none other than Kitty Pryde. The sound of light chatter ceased. All eyes laid on Rogue.

            "Where am Ah?" she drawled in her accent glancing at her roommate, Kurt, and Logan with arms folded in the corner.

            "In za infirmary, sister." Kurt answered with his blue brows furrowed in concern.

"Oh my god, Rogue! You're okay!" Kitty bursted her voice a strangled choked cry. "I was like so worried!"

            Logan simply grunted and stomped out of the room.

            Rogue's gaze fell seeing the look in his eyes… all of their eyes. She didn't want to hurt them at all… Logan. He was protective of her yet not quite a parent…he was a very dear uncle, whom she heavily relied on in the past. Kurt had his annoying playful side but sometimes he could get her so angry she could think of nothing but being mad and forget about her powers. Kitty was her exact opposite and yet the two could always connect. Hanging out with her Rogue could pick up on her happy carefree persona and be refreshed from her world of torment. They meant a lot to her. She didn't want to see them like this…but she just had to stop the pain rotting her life away. No one would ever understand…

            "Why did you want to do that?" Kitty demanded reaching for her friend's gloved hand, tears flooding her eyes.

            Rogue snapped away from her touch. "Get away from meh!" she shouted, "Ah do what Ah want! Mah life ain't none o' yo' concern!"

            Hurt flashed across the girl's innocent eyes. She just couldn't understand why her friend was acting this way… Why was she so mad at everyone? Couldn't she just see how worried they were for her? They truly did care… "Rogue –"

            "Ah said leave meh alone!" the Goth growled folding her arms refusing to look at them.

            Kitty blinked as she stared at her for a moment. She just couldn't believe this! "Come on Kurt," she motioned for him to exit with her, "Let's just go…"

            Uncertain of the demand, his eyes flitted back from the two girls in the room, as he shut the door behind them.

            Alone again.

            Rogue sighed glancing at the various instruments hooked up to her. She was so bored of being locked up in the infirmary. Not too long ago she was in here because her powers went out of control. How long would it have to be before they realized it was best for both them and her to just let her die?

            She took in a slow breath and unhitched herself from the machines and walked towards the window. Pulling the string on the shade she could feel the warmth of the sun shining through her hospital garment. The heat was nice. It must have been raining for weeks and a little nice weather could always calm her soul.

            Pressing a gloved hand on the glass, she looked down from the second floor to notice Scott's car parked before the steps.

            Scott… Her heart fluttered. However fate quickly ripped such happy emotions away replacing them with a jealous stab.

            Rogue didn't have to be outside to hear Jean's seamless voice charm with laughter. She could see it written all over her flawless face that she enjoyed her perfect life. The telepath reached for his hand as the two strode to the car with her latched on Scott's arm. His bare arm… with her bare arms and hands…. Touching…

            Rogue felt her throat tighten. She tore her gaze from the sight and slumped against the window. Oh god why?! She bared her teeth. Why couldn't that be her? Why couldn't she have Jean's life? She was so pretty…so smart…so fucking perfect. She had Scott wrapped around her little finger and if she wanted to she could have every other boy in the world.

            A whimper escaped her throat as she fought against the pain. Fought to keep everything inside… burring it so deep it tore her apart. Why couldn't she have a life like that? But no. She had to be fated with this life…. Fated never to even have a chance at a relationship because of her powers. Who would want to have a girlfriend they couldn't even touch? No one. She was stuck alone. Always alone.

            "Hey darlin'," Logan greeted opening the door.

            "What do you want?" she spat folding her arms glaring at the floor as if it caused all her torment.

            "Where'd you get those drugs?"

            "What drugs?"

            "Don't lie to me! I could smell it!" he growled slamming his fist into the bed slicing three evenly spaced holes.

            "Who cares?!" she responded watching him pluck the stuffing from the mattress off his claws. 

            "I do!"

            "Yeah right."

            He retracted the metal. "Look Stripes, if I didn't care I would have told the Professor by now."

            She rolled her eyes and placed the pads of her fingertips on her chest as she gushed, "Oh mah, then Ah might get kicked out. Is that it?"

            "Cut the attitude! I'm trying to help!"

            "No one can help meh!" she screamed, "So just leave meh alone!"

            Rogue pushed past him but Logan quickly stepped in front of her. "No way. You're not getting out of my sight!" He gripped her arm catching her attention. "C'mon talk to me!"

            Rogue gazed into his gray eyes. She had wanted to talk to someone… and he was the one person that was closest to understanding her at the mansion. She sighed, making up her mind and gently stepped out of his grasp.

"Ah got it from school…" she whispered throwing her eyes to the ground. "Ah just… needed to forget for a while…"

            A throaty sigh escaped his lips as he held his head and turned to leave but paused. Rogue's face grew melancholy realizing how much Logan did care for her. What was she supposed to do? He treated her like a kid sister or daughter, close family. He wasn't friendly with any of the other students like he was with her. He gave her breaks when she needed them. He was the one who "saved" her. It must've been horrible to see someone he cared about like that on the edge of death… but what he didn't know was he hadn't saved her at all. He only prolonged the torment she had to live with everyday. He didn't know that… if he could understand her he'd know to let her go. 

The door clicked shut. "Ah'm sorry Logan…"

Mornings and afternoon's at the institute were somehow always uneventful. Ororo tended to her plants, the professor dealt with paper work, Mr. McCoy read, and Logan slept. There was absolutely nothing to do or anyone really worth talking to without having to hear a lecture. After watching TV until she was bored out of her skull, Rogue decided Logan had the right idea about what to do.

Around dinner time, the door swung open smacking against the wall jolting her awake.   Rogue opened her eyes to see Kitty bounce in the room holding a covered tray along with a happy smile. "Hey," she greeted putting the tin down on her lap. "We like saved you some dinner since you couldn't come down and stuff."

"Oh," she acknowledged lifting the top taking in the scent of steak and mashed potatoes. Her stomach growled as she lifted the fork, scooped up some gravy covered fluff and slipped it into her mouth.

            "Um…" Kitty mumbled sitting down on her roommate's bed "Rogue… I just wanted to say… that like if you ever need anyone to talk to… you can talk to me, alright?"

            The Goth looked up from her plate and stared at her as she chewed and swallowed.

            "Cuz…like…" she tired hard to find the words as she fidgeted with her shirt sleeve, "I'm worried. I don't want something like that to happen again, ya know? I just want to say that I do care, Rogue, whether you believe me or not. Even if I can't understand it… at least it helps to like get it off your chest, okay?"

            Rogue sighed. "Kitty, it's hard… Y'all don't know what it's like ta not be able ta touch… and then see y'all do it all the time hurts. It hurts. You don't know what Ah go through every day. To know that no mattah what Ah can't get close ta anyone. That Ah'm doomed never to be with anyone from the beginning… without even having a chance."

            Kitty held her breath listening to her friend and reached out for her gloved hand.

            "You'd think Ah'd get used to it," Rogue continued gripping her palm as tears threatened to spill from her friend's eyes. "Ah can't. Ah can't just accept Ah'll always be alone. Ah push everyone away because Ah always hurt them…"

            Kitty sniffled as a tiny sob croaked from her throat. She couldn't believe that Rogue was opening up to her… and just beginning to understand what it was like for her.

            "Ah hurt you, Kurt, and Logan…" Rogue confessed, "Ah don't want ta hurt anyone… But if y'all understood… you'd know…. Logan would have known ta let meh die."

            Unable to hold back any longer Kitty latched onto her friend and sobbed relentlessly on her shoulder. "No! Rogue please! Don't say that! You don't know that the Professor won't find a way to help you with your powers. You'll learn to control them! You will! You will!"

            Rogue sat motionless just letting her cry. She knew none of them would understand… knew that they wouldn't let her go. They were hopeful. They didn't know she could easily control everyone else's powers she held with such ease. It was her own. She knew it was her skin…her skin that was poison to the touch… You couldn't get rid of it… Just like Kurt and Mr. McCoy with their blue fur. You can't turn it off.

            She rubbed Kitty's back soothingly, uncaring at the moment of her drenched hospital garment. It didn't matter. She had to just help stop the pain she was causing her… It was her fault Kitty was upset right now. She'd only cause her and the others more pain if she stuck around… Couldn't anyone see by now that she was an absolute curse? Not only to herself but to everyone around her…

            Kitty finally pulled away staring into her friend's green eyes. "Um…" she croaked, "I'm sorry I like got your shirt all messed up…"

            Rogue smiled. "It's okay Kitty…"

            "No really Rogue, I'm like totally sorry! I know you don't like to be touched and stuff!"

            "It's okay!" she replied with a tick of annoyance, "Just don't do it again."

            Kitty nodded. "I'm sorry, Rogue."

            "Didn't Ah just say-"

            "No I mean… I'm sorry about your powers. You let me know if I can like do anything okay? I'll totally be willing to help. Even if it's to convince Logan to like dance around in a too-too, I'll so make him!"

            Rogue giggled. She may just hold Kitty up to it. What a sight that would be to see Logan twirling around the mansion to Swan Lake in a bright pink leotard and a frilly puffy skirt to boot. She'd have to live to see that.

            "I'm going to bed now. You let me know okay?" Kitty told her walking towards the door. She clicked off the light. "Goodnight."

            "Goodnight." Rogue replied. In the pitch-dark she placed the tray down off the bed and slipped further under the covers. Rolling over on her side she gazed at the door. She could hear footsteps. Scott and Jean must've just come home from their date tonight she figured feeling her throat tighten at that notion. She couldn't help herself. She couldn't help but to loath Jean. Jean never did anything wrong to her directly, but it was just that she wanted to be her. She was perfect and she had Scott. Jean had the life Rogue dreamed of. A dream that she could never ever have.

            The footsteps stopped. Rogue narrowed her eyes seeing a shadow where the hall's light usually snuck in. The entrance creaked open just a crack enough for the person to see into the room. Logan stood in the doorway for a moment. Rogue glanced at him never had seeing him so pained in all of her life. He knew better than to try and talk to her now. It would just make things worse…He sighed just looking at her and turned to continue with his nightly patrol.

Rogue heard the door shut and cried.

Three o'clock. The red digits on the clocked glowed as she waited for sleep to claim her, yet it never came. She should have never taken that nap, she scolded herself, but it was too late to think about things like that now. 

Rogue pushed out of bed and slid into her slippers. On the way out she wrapped her robe around herself and huddled into the little warmth it provided. She was going to find Logan. It had been bothering her all day now and she just had to talk to him.

She was about to bound down stairs when she spotted him patrolling near the balcony. "Logan!" she called to him and he turned around to face her.

"Hey Stripes," he greeted, "Why aren't you in the infirmary restin'?"

"Ah couldn't sleep…" she replied reaching into her robe's pockets for gloves.

"Somethin' you wanna talk about? Or you just wanna forget about it?"

"Maybe both," she replied tugging the two pieces of cloth on her hands. "Ah'm not goin' ta smoke anymore."

He glanced at her and leaned his hands on the rail while his eyes flitted back and forth at the entrance.

"Because…" she continued mirroring his stance, "Ah realized that it ain't gonna do ya no good… Just makes more problems instead o' eliminating 'em."

"You're right, kid. I guess I got so mad at you before was because I saw you goin' through the same road I was. Just confused and in pain… nothing makes sense in your head and in my case I just drank it away."

"You've been through a lot…" she trailed off remembering his past.

"So have you, Stripes. Every where you turn someone else is betrayin' you… can't even trust yourself. I've been there."

Rogue nodded. "But that's not what's been botherin' meh." She tugged at her gloves. "Ah wanted ta say… Ah'm sorry."

Logan turned to face her, his eyes burrowed in confusion. "For what?"

"For puttin' ya through what Ah did… Ah don't want ta see none o' ya'll hurt. But Ah was only thinkin' o' mahself. It hurts… It hurts so bad Logan… Ya don't know how it feels… Ah'm sorry…. Ah don't want ya ta have ta worry about meh hurtin' mahself, but to be honest Ah dunno if Ah can say Ah won't try it again."

He looked away from her as a heavy silence floated in the air for what seemed like forever. Finally he sighed and gazed into her green eyes so full of sadness. She was suffering. He could just see it by looking at her. None of the others could tell or suspect she was feeling such depression because of her lacking ability to control her powers. The other teachers at the institute thought she was just a moody troublesome teenager. But he knew better. He had seen depression like that before. In his eyes… when he wanted to commit suicide at one point in his own life.

"I understand ya, kid," he replied feeling his throat tighten at the sight of her tears welling in her eyes. She then did something completely unexpected. Completely unlike her at all. She hugged him.

Logan wrapped his arms around her rubbing her back soothingly as she spilled her emotions out onto his shirt. "You're tough, Stripes," he assured, "Don't let your powers beat you. I know you can handle this. Sure things are rough now, I know. But believe in yourself. I know I do."

Rogue sniffed still clinging to his shirt that was now drenched in her tears.

He just continued to rub her back.

"Ah didn't mean ta just get all emotional like that… Ah just… can't keep it inside meh anymore."

"It's okay, darlin'. I'm glad you came to me."

She smiled at his encouragement and pulled away. "Ah think Ah'll go ta bed now…" She paused her leave and smiled at him. "Ya not going ta make me go in the Danger Room at four o'clock for escapin' from the infirmary are ya?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "If you don't get a move on…" With that she sprinted down the hall and jumped into bed. She felt so much better… and in those few hours she never had slept better either.

  


**Author's Note:** Yeah I changed a few things here and there by moving stuff around and making her stay in the infirmary longer. But from now it starts to get very different.


	4. Ch02: From 666 To 777

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Chapter 2: From 666 to 777**

            Television, television, "reality" dating shows, commercials, lame ass soap operas, talk shows, educational cartoons, yada yada… Boring.

            Rogue clicked the power off and sighed sinking deeper under the covers. Nothing on and nothing to do and most of all no one to talk to. Mr. McCoy, Ms. Munroe, and the professor had all left the school well over an hour ago in search of new recruits. She really hadn't been paying attention to Hank's long speech about how they need to welcome the unwelcome whatever he was talking about. The only thing that really stuck in her mind was the fact that he mentioned he and Xavier would need to keep her under psychiatric evaluation.

            The thought of them poking and prying at her problems was enough to make her want to jump out of the window right now. She didn't need some doctor or tests or saying what's on her mind to make her feel any better. Rogue sighed. If only they spent as much time focusing on training her to gain control of her powers then they'd be getting somewhere. However the subject of control always remained on the backburner of Xavier's to-do list.

            She couldn't really blame him. The man was always very busy. It's just that he really had promised her that he would teach her or at least help her with them. The only time she did actually receive that kind of attention was when her powers were threatening the lives of others and herself. Rogue closed her eyes remembering the time she had completely lost it… everyone she had ever absorbed all coming to the surface… ever since then… nothing had been the same.

            The professor had later explained to her that her powers were manifesting… like a similar power surge that Jean had experienced just before her… Though Rogue didn't feel like she had changed at all. She still couldn't control anything… and most of all, still unable to touch.

            Flinging off the covers, she stomped out of the infirmary, however making sure to tip-toe across Logan's room as softly as possible to hers. She closed the door behind her and walked toward her dresser. She glanced into the mirror seeing her face ghostly pale with dark circles under her eyes, yet she wore not a drop of makeup. Tucking the streak of white hair away from her face she pondered for a second if it really was a sign of her mutation or more out of complete and utter stress. Either way all she knew was she would feel much better in nice clean clothes verses the dingy hospital gown she dawned.

            Loosening the knot in the back, the whole garment dropped to the ground revealing every morsel of her poison skin. She sighed fluffing her hair staring at herself. No one would ever probably see her like this… She would never get the chance to give herself to anyone intimately… but even if she could just control her powers for a simple kiss… anything would be better than nothing…

            A long slow appreciative whistle chimed in the air cutting off every bit of Rogue's thoughts. She quickly flitted her eyes past her reflection to behind her shoulder catching sight of none other than Remy LeBeau.

            The girl whirled around opening her mouth to scream, however her body was swiftly slammed against the wall along with a gloved hand to suppress any shouts. Her eyes widened watching the filthy Cajun glancing her up and down with nothing short of a hungry naughty smirk.

            "Figures dey be black," he commented referring to her panties the only article of clothing she wore.

            Rogue's eyes darkened as the enemy continued to enjoy the predicament she couldn't free herself from. The man pressed closer flattening the fleshy mounds on her chest against him. His teeth flashed once again as he placed a hand on her hip. She froze at the touch and swallowed as he leaned his face close to hers almost touching her nose. His breath tickled her cheeks and stirred the few white strands fallen in her eyes as she closed them. She could almost feel the warmth of his skin. Her heart screamed colliding so hard against her ribs at the risk of touching him she swore it would burst. What if he touched her by mistake? What if she couldn't pull away if he did? What the hell was he doing?! What the hell was she letting him do?!

"Promise not t' scream, chère?" he questioned as her eyes refused to advert away from his.

            Rogue nodded causing Remy to take a step back. Immediately she kicked him in the stomach and covered herself with her hands.

            "What are ya doin' in mah room ya fuckin' pervert?!" her whisper sliced the air with clear vengeance. She wanted to kill the god damn bastard for ever coming near her and touching her… he touched her bare body! Even though he had clothes on he still had touched her! She never wanted anyone to come that close to her ever unless it was someone she truly cared about. Hell she never wanted anyone to even _see_ her like that and it would be fate's lovely joke to let such a womanizing pig be the first and probably only.

"Would y' believe t' steal one o' dese?" he responded and snapped the rubber band on her undergarment.

            The boy must've had a death wish flinging a gallon of gasoline to the explosion of her anger. "Get out!" she hissed a bit louder scrambling one hand in her dresser for anything. "Do ya know how dangerous it is t' come near meh, like this?! Get out before Ah intentionally suck ya dry!"

            She proved her threat by nearly touching his bare face with her bare hand, but the Cajun couldn't seem to do anything but stare at her bare body. He smirked. "Hmm… Maybe dat be fun. Any kind o' suckin' from y' sounds good t' Remy."

            A growl rumbled in her throat, so fierce and feral it could rival with Logan's. Rogue instead of kneeing him in the balls like the perverted bastard deserved, reasoned it'd be better to get dressed first. Oh the horror that would unleash if Wolverine were to ever walk in on them now…

            Slapping on a ripped pair of grey jeans and a purple tank top with mesh-like sleeves to cover her arms, she tried desperately not to turn around and rip every piece of hair out of the smiling swamp rat's head.

            "What are ya really here fo'?" she insisted planting her gloved hands on her hips that itched so badly to bash him in the face and decorate the floor with his bloody teeth.

            "Not'in' really," he replied shuffling that deck of cards that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, "Remy jus' t'ought t' pay his chère a visit, non?"

            "Ah ain't yo' anythang! Besides how did ya know Ah wasn't in school?" She interrogated narrowing her eyes. She never trusted the man one bit ever since he handed her that card that nearly blew off half her body. Then the time he knocked her out with gas and kidnapped her all the way back to the south for his own personal benefit just topped all her hatred for him with a pretty pink bow. She never knew why she stopped Logan from ramming his claws into his jaw… She'd never know why…

            "Lucky guess?" he cocked his head at her and winked.

            "Lucky mah ass!" she spat at him, "Ya'll been watchin' meh again! Is that it? What do ya'll want this time, hmm? Ah'm through being yo' tool!"

            "In Remy's defense, chère, like de guardian angel, he jus' lookin' out fo' y' an' saw y' be a femme in distress." He placed the cards back in his coat.

            Rogue rolled her eyes and shook her head. "If ya don't watch it, yo' gonna be a homme in distress!"

            "C'mon, chère. Quit actin' like y' hate it." He persisted placing his hands on her shoulders and shoved her close. "Jus' tell Remy all y' problems."

            The Goth growled pounding on his chest struggling to get away. With one strong shove he stumbled backwards onto the soft cushion of her bed and far the hell away from her. The corner of his mouth twitched upward in that ever present lopsided grin as he stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in his clothing.

            "Such a dominatrix," he commented.

She slapped him. Hard. Remy cried out surprised by the sudden pain and held his hand to his stinging cheek.

"Ya stupid swamp rat!" she hollered at him gritting her teeth. "What did ya think ya were doin'?! Hands off!"

"Mmm Remy just loves it when y' get feisty," he purred gazing down at her with those demon blood eyes so warm and soothing and yet dangerous like a fire burning into her soul.

Rogue sighed and held her head. She couldn't even wack the crap out of him and knock some sense into the sick freak. Whatever she did, he always seemed to enjoy it like everything was some disgusting sexual fetish of his.

"Seriously dough," Gambit's smile abruptly faded, "Is it because of y' powers?"

She folded her arms. "Get out."

"Because if Remy recall right, y' powers are de one dat helped y' save de world from Apocalypse."

"Get out!"

"Non."

The two locked narrowed eyes. She didn't care what the hell he wanted to talk about. She wasn't going to discuss her powers with him. It didn't matter how she helped save the world. It wasn't really her powers that did it anyway. It was Dorian's. Everyone should be thanking him, not her. She was nothing…nothing but a vampire… a monster that fed off of everyone's souls and abilities to get anywhere in life. 

She had hurt Dorian badly when she touched him… he was comatose for days… days. She never had seen someone knocked out for so long… maybe it was because he was a child? She didn't know. She didn't know and apologized so many times to his mother. She wondered if she'll ever be able to forgive her. But it didn't matter… even if she did accept such declarations of regret she could never forgive herself.

            "Just leave meh alone! It ain't yo' business!" Rogue screamed uncaring of the volume that shook the walls. She just wanted him the hell away from her, and now.

            Gambit opened his mouth to argue when the sound of Logan's voice boomed in the hallway just outside the door.

            "Stripes?!" he bellowed pounding on the door.

            He hadn't much time left before those claws of his sliced open the door and caught him with her. He remembered all too well the feel of the metal almost slammed into his face last time he treaded a little too near Rogue.

            Remy swooped up Rogue's hands and bent to kiss the tops of them yet hesitated. A smirk played across his face as he instead turned her arms over and placed his lips against each bandage concealing her sliced wrists. Before she could utter one word in question of his knowledge of her wounds he lifted the window open and jumped out.

            "Stripes!" Logan screamed for the fifth time smashing the door down.

            Rogue just blinked at him.

            "Now can't a girl get dressed?" she commented folding her arms once again. She kicked herself internally finding herself covering for the Cajun. She didn't know why but something inside of her never wanted to see him hurt, though another part wanted to shove Logan aside from killing him and assault the pervert with her own hands.

            Wolverine just sniffed, walked up to her, inhaled the air around her, and stalked toward the open window. He leaned forward, anymore and he would've fallen out as he glanced left and right.

            "What's the mattah with ya?"

            "Thought I smelt the gumbo," he answered so sure the boy's scent was everywhere in the room. "Why's the window open?" he interrogated while looking behind the curtains and under the beds.

            "Ah was hot. Ya'll gettin' paranoid, Wolvie." Rogue replied tapping her foot wondering when he was going to settle back down out of territorial defense mode. She should just tell him he was here. It was so obvious. She couldn't cover up the sent he left behind. _She_ could even smell the fragrance of his spicy cologne and tobacco thick in the air.

            He opened the closet. "What are ya doin' out of the infirmary?"

            "Ah got tired of the same boring white walls."

            Logan sniffed the air once more and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm going back to sleep. You should do the same." He paused at the entrance hearing her grumble. "Oh and Stripes, If I EVER catch the gumbo around ya again, taking you back to the south or down the street, if he's near ya, I'm not gonna hesitate to slice and dice him and eat Cajun for breakfast."

            Rogue nodded watching him force out and retract his claws for emphasis.

            Back in the infirmary again… Rogue held her breath ready to scream any second at the torture. They should've returned over twenty minutes ago and yet here she waited… And waited… 

The door slid open revealing Mr. McCoy with a bright cheery smile and a clipboard. Rogue released her breath and welcomed him with a smile of her own. "How'd it go?" she questioned wondering if they did in fact bring in more students.

"Well I'm not sure how exactly it went," he answered with a slight chuckle, "The two we talked to were…rather interesting."

Rogue raised an eyebrow.

"Free spirited, I really should say. They seemed like that didn't have much guidance in the past few years, which is one of the reasons we were trying to get them to join us…"

"What were their names?"

"Oh my apologies," Hank grinned flashing his fangs, "They're the Acolytes."

"The Acolytes?!" Rogue screamed. "Are ya'll freakin' nuts?!"

She couldn't believe this… What went so terribly wrong in their brains? They were the enemy! Rogue held her head not paying one bit of attention to Mr. McCoy's speech of everyone deserves a chance. She could just imagine that crazy Cajun walking in on her showers following her around until she went mad and either killed him or went out on a date with the horny bastard just to shut him up. Colossus would probably pick up every piece of furniture in the house and rearrange it just for fun … and Pyro would end up burning everything in sight… oh the horror that would unleash when it was his turn to cook… The professor must have gone mad to think those three loonies could ever live with them.

"Wait a second," Rogue cut McCoy off feeling a headache coming on, "Ah don't get how ya'll can have them join us if Magneto is employin' them."

"That's the reason why we went to there," he explained, "Magneto seems to have disappeared again, leaving the three alone. I'm not sure if Sabertooth went with him or not. When we got there…

_Acolyte's Housing Quarter's two hours ago:_

St. John and Piotr lounged in front of the television enjoying the leftover pizza from last week. Or was it the week before that…? He flicked his lighter sparking a fire and willed the flames to lick the bottom crust of the slice as the Russian beside him leaned away uncertain of his control.

            "Ooo!" he exclaimed at its charcoaled state and turned to glance at Piotr, "Would ya loike meh ta do yoah's too, mate? Let ol' St. John 'ere cook 'er up!"

            "Um I appreciate the offer but I find it just fine cold." he politely refused.

            "Mmm! Noyce an' crispy!" Pyro smiled crunching his food.

The door bell rang. "I'll get it," Piotr announced getting up and walking towards the door hoping it was Gambit. He needed someone else in the room besides the fire obsessed Aussie or else he feared that his sanity would soon leave his brain permanently. However Gambit never used doorbells… he never used keys for that matter either.

Piotr opened the door and nearly transformed into his metal form when Pyro slapped his shoulder and sang, "Ooo it seems we 'ave a bit a' company!" He flicked his lighter and smiled at the teachers of the Xavier institute minus short and grumpy. "'ello mates. Whoat can we do foah ya?"

"Is Magnus on the premises?" Xavier questioned pressing his fingertips together.

"Last toime Oy saw ol' frig magnet was the day ya fought Apocalypse, baldy."

Piotr slapped his forehead and shook his head, very slowly.

"So I take it only you two are left? Where are the others, if I may ask," Xavier continued ignoring the comment on his hairlessness. Kids would be kids.

"Aww if ya lookin' foah the kitty, he just up and left one day, prolly on a quest fah the perfect ball a' yarn. And the ugly faced one who loikes ta pretend he's pretty with illusions went back ta the rock he crawled out from unduh."

The three adults blinked several times trying to decipher any word he spoke between his thick accent and his creative way of referring to people.

Piotr cleared his throat realizing they weren't used to insanity this early in the morning or perhaps any time of the day for that matter. "He means we don't know where Sabertooth or Mastermind are either."

"May we come in?" Mr. McCoy questioned. 

Instantly the carrot top shoved the three of them inside while the quieter one shut the door behind them. Pyro smiled like a mad man motioning for them to sit by slapping on the couch repeatedly as dust flew everywhere. Hank and Ororo unwillingly sat on the filthy thing and managed a smile each.

"Sooo whoat's with gettin' so friendly all a' sudden?" he asked flicking his lighter on and off again causing Ororo to feel a little more than just nervous being the one who sat next to him.

"We were wondering if you'd like to join us," Charles put forth the opportunity, "You of course would have sufficient housing and be fed-"

"Whoat?" Pyro interrupted, "Are ya sayin' we don't eat? We 'ave food!" he proclaimed and shoved the open pizza box at the professor.

Xavier smiled at the boy and glanced down at the contents. Was that something furry growing on one of the slices?

"'ave a piece!" he offered picking up the one with green substance on it.

"That's quiet all right."

"No Oy insist!" he argued pushing the slice closer to the older man's mouth. "No wonduh ya don't 'ave any hair on that 'ead a' yoah's. Ya gotta eat properly!"

Xavier blinked at the boy. "I'm fine, really. Thanks very much for your kindness and your concern for my health. But perhaps you should watch yours more. You do realize there is mold on that slice."

"Oy know! Maybe if ya'd eat it, the stuff would grow on yoah 'ead! Oy mean green fuzzy ick is bettuh than blindin' shininess. Ya moight get a sun burn!" 

Piotr slapped his forehead and shook his head, very slowly.

_Charles' Xavier School of the Gifted, Infirmary present time:_

            "And so they told us how they were fending for themselves since Magneto left," Hank explained to Rouge. "Colossus has been selling paintings he has made, Gambit has been pick pocketing and stealing expensive items, and Pyro had a job at Burger King but ended up getting fired when he burned the entire grill to ashes"

Flame broiled whopper alright. Brings a whole new meaning to the word fired, Rogue mused in her head. "So they're perfectly fine," she commented folding her arms, "No need for us to interfere right?"

            "Most of their money supply comes from thievery. They need guidance," Mr. McCoy persisted, "I completely agree with the professor that it would be very beneficial on both of our parts. It would teach the students here that everyone should be treated with equality and fairness no matter who they are. If we didn't uphold those beliefs, you my friend, wouldn't be here at all."

            Rogue grumbled. "Ah still don't like it."

            "However they didn't agree to join us yet," he continued flipping through his clipboard now, "They said they wouldn't agree to anything until their temporary leader, Gambit had something to say about it."

            She laughed out loud. "That swamp rat is their leader?" Hank wrapped the medical instrument around Rogue's arm and began to pump it up as he checked the gauges for blood pressure.

            "Hold still please," he requested and wrote the number down on the board.

            The door opened as Xavier rolled into the room. He smiled warmly at the teen while he pulled up beside her opposite of Mr. McCoy. "Rogue are you ready for your first session with us?" he questioned.                

**Author's Note:** I wasn't too sure on the Pyro and the professor bit… please tell me at least one of you laughed out there.  Good? Bad? Just okay? Let me know! Pretty please?


	5. Ch03: Innocent Sovereign's Decline

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Chapter 3: Innocent Sovereign's Decline**

            God damn it! Rogue grit her teeth at what was about to occur. She didn't feel like going through this right now or ever. Didn't they realize anything? Why was he bothering to evaluate her mind when they should be evaluating her powers. She folded her arms. First she was stuck in the infirmary all this morning, then that stupid womanizing asshole saw her almost entirely naked and didn't get his face smashed in for it, and now she would have to endure a torture session of spilling her most sacred and personal guts onto the table. Oh yes today has turned out to be so much fun.

            "Do Ah have ta?" she sighed pulling her gloves.

            "I will not force you to do anything you don't want to, Rogue," the professor told her, "But I do recommend it. I think we can accomplish quite a bit if we figure out what is troubling you. Attempted suicide is not a thing to be taken lightly. If you wish not to undergo these sessions may I remind you I will have to have someone supervising you wherever you go at all times."

            So that was just his nice little way of saying that she must or else we will torture you into doing it. To talk about how she longs to get physically intimate with someone or have a chaperone follow her everywhere but the bathroom. Choices. Oh how life just gets better and better. "It's just that it's really uncomfortable."

            "Would you like it better if I were to leave?" Mr. McCoy questioned.

            "Yes Ah think Ah'd like that, if y'all don't mind." The less people she would have to tell…

            "That's perfectly alright, Rogue. I'll be in the other room evaluating these results," Hank responded pointing to his clip board and proceeded to the lab.

            "Now that, that's settled shall we begin?" the professor inquired.

            "Let's just get this ovah with."

            "I believe we can gain more progress if I were to enter your mind. Let us start out with your childhood."

            "Whatevah," Rogue sighed watching the telepath place his fingertips on his temples.

            Remy shuffled the deck of cards as he relaxed in his employer's office. Things were looking even easier now that the X-men requested that they join up with them. He couldn't believe the world's strongest telepath could be so naïve at times. He was completely blinded by his ideals just like Magneto told the Acolytes long ago. Everything was falling according to plan… but so easy… no challenge at all. There was nothing Gambit hated more than things running smoothly.

            "Charles Xavier is a fool," he remarked to the Cajun sitting before him. "How could he ever think he would be able to change the fate of mutants through such passive behavior? If we do not act now and strengthen our defenses, we will be annihilated."

            "Should we join dem, t' have people on de inside?" he questioned plucking the ace of spades out of his deck.

            "That will not be necessary," he responded, "I do not want you wasting your time with the X-men anymore than you must. Xavier has already placed enough trust to conclude you are no longer a threat. Continue to proceed with the plans I gave you."

_Caldecott__, __Mississippi__ thirteen years ago:_

            "Destiny I need to know what's going to happen to her," Raven Darkholme pleaded with her friend as she stroked the crimson tresses of the little girl snuggled in her lap. The girl's eyes were closed as she lay so peacefully breathing so soft and slowly the two women talking assumed she was asleep.

            "All possible paths with you in her life end hers shortly," Irene answered, "You can not keep her for her sake."

            "But what am I going to do with her?" she panicked, "If what you say is true about her powers how can we possibly let her be raised by anyone else?"

            The elder woman paused as she concentrated on her own abilities. "There is one way… If you leave her with me and never come back here, she will live."

            Raven froze staring at the blind woman as she shifted in her chair. Was that really the only way? She'd do anything for the girl even if she had to part yet again with another child. There was no choice…

            "Pack tonight. If you stay here any longer Magneto will find you and take the girl."

_Charles' Xavier School of the Gifted, Infirmary present time:_

            The professor folded his hands in his lap and opened his eyes. "Strange."

            "What's strange?" Rogue questioned. She had completely forgotten how she ended up at her foster mother's house. She hadn't been taken back to the adoption agency like she assumed. Mystique stole her from her first adopted parent's house and took her to Irene's… but why would she bother? _"You're my daughter! Check the adoption records!" _Mystique's voice echoed. Rogue shook her head and pushed the psyche back. She and Magneto were after her for something… but what and why?  
            "Your memories," Xavier addressed, "They are two perspectives blended into one. It seems when you absorbed Mystique's memories, any one you shared with hers are remembered in the third person, almost as if you were looking through a camera lens."

            "How is that odd?" Rogue wondered, "All mah memories are like that."

            The professor raised and eyebrow and quickly scribbled into his notebook. "Interesting. This must have something to do with your powers."

            "Ah really don't like to remembah much," she explained, "Everythang starts gettin' confusin' and Ah don't know who Ah am anymore. Their memories become mine. Whenevah Ah concentrate on thinkin' back they start to scream at meh."

            "Hmm. Now is that what happened when you lost control?"

            Rogue paused. Come to think of it he was right… When she absorbed Risty all she could think about was the time when she first discovered her powers…then Cody's voice started blaring in her brain along with Mystique coming on even stronger since the psyche just got a new charge. Everything just began blurring together… the crowd of people she tired to escape… the memories… all the voices inside her head and around her… everything… she couldn't think, couldn't gain control, she couldn't do anything. The psyches quickly caught on and blew her command out from under her. They soon began to all fight for full rein over her body, frightening and confusing her furthering the lapse of proper dominance.

            "That's exactly what happened," she answered feeling her throat tighten. She could never delve back to the memories of when she was a child and able to touch…able to pet an animal without watching it die because of her…able to touch the leaves of a plant without it wilting nearly to ashes…able to play with the children without the worry of placing them into a comma.

            "Rogue are you okay?" the professor questioned observing the sudden contortion upon her facial features. 

            _Thinking about touching? Oh don't be silly little girl! That's all in the past!_

No… oh god no… Rogue slammed her eyes shut clutching her temples as her nails clawed at her skull. A choked cry tore from her tightened throat shattering the silence as she staged backward out of bed and smashed her knees to the floor. She gasped leaving her lungs burning with the fire of her horror. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening… Not now…not ever…

            _We won't ever let you! You don't deserve love! You will be punished for stealing our souls! _

"No! Stop it! I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to!" she pleaded.

            _Didn't mean to? Do you really think that changes anything?_

"Please…" Tears shattered the barrier of her eyelashes as they ripped down her face.

            _You deserve to suffer for what you've done! Thief! Vampire! You're not human! You're a monster! A disgusting monster!_

"Get out o' mah head!"

            _Get out? How can we? You trapped us here! We can't ever escape because of you!_

"NO!" She screamed. Rogue shot to a stand prying at her head as if she could rip the infection of the voices from her mind. Sucking in breath after breath she positioned herself against the wall for balance and shifted towards the door. If she could just get out of here no one would get hurt…

            _No you don't! _The psyches shrieked flooding her mind with each of their voices echoing in her ears. Every word sliced into her consciousness threatened her ability to hang on to the last strands of her control. Rogue screamed again extending a hand fighting to grip the doorknob causing the limb to violently shake and tremble.

            "Rogue!" Xavier shouted as Hank rushed in the room, "Answer me!"

            She had to stop this! This was her body! Her mind! No one else's! Rogue bit her lip abandoning the idea to run away. These were her powers!

            "Back off!" she commanded them in her mind as the psyches stepped back in surprise. Yet they weren't about to be intimidated by their keeper if they all retaliated against her at once.

            _You back off bitch! It's our turn now!_

Blood dripped from her chin as her teeth sunk deeper into the flesh. The shouts of the professor and Mr. McCoy seemed so far away as she stared the psyches in their ghost faces.

            The professor placed his fingers on his temples and quickly entered her mind. The ghosts flew around, each screeching in excitement to be let free once again. They finally took noticed of the man that intruded their party and hissed at the telepath in disapproval. They stopped and began to line up in two rows on either side of Xavier to reveal Rogue standing in the center with her head fallen limp. Her eyes suddenly shot forward as she flung out her palm blasting him out of her head with the most powerful psychic jolt he had ever faced.

            Charles cried out as he snapped his eyes open. He immediately called for Logan through his mind. If only they could somehow lead her into the danger room, she and everyone else would be safe until they figured out a way for her to gain control once again.

            "Stripes?!"

            "Hurry up and open the door Logan!"

            "We must act as quickly as possible!"

            The three voices swam into her mind as she barely registered the door splinter to pieces. Wolverine snatched her by her arms causing the girl to scream, her echoing cries smothered in a chorus of all the psyches'.

            "C'mon darlin' fight 'em!" Logan urged her to resurface while Hank grabbed hold of her thrashing legs.

            "NO! STOP!" she shrieked over and over whipping all her limbs in every direction possible. "STOP!"

            _You cannot command us!_ _We're going to destroy your friends, you little fuck, then no one will be able to help you. You will be ours!_

"NO!" Her voice ripped her throat, "Let go of me!"

            Her body slid across the floor as the sound of a door slamming shut swam in her mind. Where was she? It didn't matter she couldn't see. She couldn't see through her eyes. All she could see was the inside of her mind.

            "What are you doing?!" she demanded walking inside the pitch darkness as the psyches flew by her from all directions.

            _This is expiation!_

"This is nothing!" Rogue spat at them, "Why are you doing this? I can't help that you're trapped in here!"

            _Yes you can! This is your fault!_

_            You can control everything!_

_            We are the ones trapped by your foolishness._

_            Release us!  
            _"HOW?!" Rogue screamed, "How?! I can't do anything! I don't know how!"

            The psyches soon began to crowd around all unrecognizable. These were the souls of her friends and her enemy's alike but inside here they were all against her. Rogue folded her arms huddling herself as she took a long hard look at each of them. Tears…bared fangs…dilated pupils…yet all of them pleading… pleading for something she had no idea.

            "Please…just leave me alone…" she begged.

            _Never! We won't ever leave you alone! You're going to pay! Just look…_

            Her vision snapped back into focus and out of her mind to reality. The reality of what the psyches were doing without her control, what they were doing to her friends.

            Logan's mouth open and shut as if he were shouting but she couldn't hear him, she couldn't hear anything but the delicious venom of the ghosts' laughter. His face suddenly contorted as his knees buckled out from under him. He clutched the tops of his hands as he doubled over now gripping his ribcage… his claws unleashed yet blood quickly spattered across the danger room's floor. He coughed gagging and spitting up precocious red liquid.

            "What the hell are ya doin' to him?!" 

_Magnetism is such a beautiful thing._

Magnetism… Her heart pounded over and over again as it's rhythmic beat throbbed inside her head blending with the excited shrieks of the psyches. They were killing him! Killing him by forcing out his very bone structure!

"Stop it! Stop it now!" she begged, "Don't hurt anyone! Take meh! Kill meh if ya have ta just leave them alone! Please!"

_Cry all you want for your surrogantt father, but he will be ours. Sit back and listen to his cries all because of you!_

"Stripes! Please! Snap out of it!" His voice clogged with sobs…Logan was actually in tears… because of the pain, because he couldn't defend himself, because his skeleton was slowly but surly shredding away at his muscles, because he couldn't save Rogue…

She had to do something! Anything! They were going to kill him… he had second's before the metal would inevitably – No! She wasn't going to think like that. It wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to allow them to take her over like this. Logan had saved her! He saved her the other night from ending her own life, she wasn't going to repay him by just watching him die. They wanted her to see this. They wanted her to watch him suffer. She was going to save him the only way she knew how.

She touched his bare hand with hers.

Silence.

"Oh mah gawd!" she gasped kneeling before him and pinned her eyes shut as tight as possible, however it didn't even budge the flow of her sorrow pouring down her face, dripping off her chin. "Please be okay…please…"

He wasn't breathing. Rogue whirled around for anyone to help her as she quickly took in the sight of the mutant training center practically destroyed. Bits and pieces of walls charred while other corners dented inwards. Sheets of metal ripped off the floor and ceiling lay helter-skelter scattered across cement rubble and robotic bolts and parts. She glanced up at the control panel's now cracked window into the eyes of the X-men's horrified faces.

**Author's Note:** Okay maybe a bit too dramatic? I dunno what I was thinking when I wrote this… *sighs* I really wanted to portray how dangerous Rogue really is. *grumbles* Oh look here I go ready to put myself down again for the nine hundredth time. *holds breath* Okay guys what do you think of Remy? I know he really hasn't had too many appearances yet but is he bad? Is he good? Is he bad but will turn good? Or just the opposite? And who is that guy he's talking to? Magneto? Apocalypse? Or the evil tooth fairy? Who knows! More on the way guys… Meanwhile if you want more of the story please motivate me and give me a review! Because in my eyes everything I do is crap. Make me change! *shuts up and goes off to write now*


	6. A little help?

Hey guys,

            First of all I'd like to say super thanks for reading and reviewing if you have. I have run into a little creativity problem. Hehe. So if you guys have any ideas of what should or want to happen please let me know in a review or an e-mail. Thanks bunches. I'll try to update by this Friday, but you guys need to get me going! Thanks so much. *runs off and goes to try to get that writer's block murdered*

~Raven

FYI: Some people have been asking me why is Rogue brooding so much unlike in the other fanfics where she seems to be able to cope more… well it is angst. Heh. But also the Rogue I am writing is a little reflection of myself. I got a lot of depression built up inside of me and instead of sighing over it I'm trying to make something good out of it and write about it… I tend to dwell and dwell to the point of pure madness. That's what happened last time when I didn't update in a while. I tend to frustrate over my abilities as a writer and even to the point of being worthy of living. Yeah fun stuff. But hey this isn't psychiatric session. Ahh okay I'll go write now even if I wanna burn it all up. *runs off*


	7. Ch04: Atonement Drum's Grief

**Author's Note:** I know sorry dorry about not getting this out yesterday night. I just needed to edit this a bit. Hopefully next time I'll be on time. But hey a day off ain't that bad!

**Anarchy-lust:** The sentence "No wonduh ya don't 'ave any hair on that 'ead a yoah's." Says "No wonder you don't have any hair on that head of yours." I find that the accent tends to drop the h's that are the beginning of words. I'm not trying to be stereotypical and if I have offended you in any way, I am deeply sorry. Pyro's personality is meant as comedy relief. I am not trying to make fun of Australians. I do know you guys speak perfectly good English. However southerns of America also speak perfectly good English. I tend to like to put in accents because I think it adds a little flavor to the writing and makes it easier to distinguish characters without actually having to point out their names all the time. I'm sorry if it's confusing you. Also, I am not trying to bash Gambit. Please bear in mind some of the narrative is written so that it reflects Rogue's thoughts. She is the one that thinks he's some crazy sex pervert. As for his actions, I think Gambit loves to push people's buttons. I think he enjoys watching people in general and will instigate chaos just to see what will happen and then smile about it because he has this power over you to make you react any way he pleases. Anyway, thank you for reviewing, I hope you do read more, I'd love to hear what you think.

**MorriganFearn:** Oh my gosh super thanks for everything. Your review set me up right on the track as to exactly what I needed to get off on my creativity block. I can't thank  you enough. So if anyone other than her is reading this, you have her to thank for this update. Thank her by reviewing some of her stories! ^_~! She writes beautifully and simply doesn't receive enough feed back.

Special thanks to all of those that reviewed!

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Chapter 4: Atonement Drum's Grief**

Rogue's throat tightened as she watched him. She swallowed the hard lump lodged in her esophagus causing a sudden nausea to pit deep in her stomach. Her lungs burned with every struggled jagged breath she took.

Her training instructor, her mentor, her father figure was thought to be invincible by his fellow team mates. He was fast. He was strong. He was smart. Because of his extraordinary abilities he was chosen to teach the team about combat and tactics. He had been the one to volunteer to guard the institute at night so the others could rest easy. Rest easy because the man only known to them as Logan was guarding them. Protecting them. But not anymore…

Rogue bit down on her lip. The taste of blood flooded her tongue smothering her senses, yet the pain never registered. She was a murder. A traitor to all her team mates. A sick twisted being that doesn't deserve to live. Why couldn't she have died that day? She should have slit her wrists deeper. She should have stolen a gun from the supply closet and blown her goddamn brains out and made sure the job was done right. No one here would do themselves a favor and let her die or kill her off like she deserved. They were sympathetic… but sympathy kills. Logan, who had saved her from taking her own life, if he were walking, would have learned that lesson well.

Closing her eyes for a brief second she shook her head and walked out of the infirmary. It had been three days now and he still hadn't woken up, gotten better, or changed in the slightest, just like Dorian had. The professor was right, she realized. Her powers definitely had grown considerably. The length of the comma she induced now lasted weeks instead of mere moments. 

Rogue sighed still feeling the power of Logan's healing factor flow through her veins as she paused in the middle of the hall. Taking off her long black gloves, she stared down at the bandages that concealed her once slit wrists now fully healed. She ripped the gauze off.

The professor hadn't asked her to stay in the infirmary any longer after the incident. He hadn't asked her to engage in anymore psychiatric sessions either. For the most part he avoided her… everyone seemed to be avoiding her unable to think of anything to say to her. What words could they tell her? Everyone had lost control or had problems with their powers before, but none of them nearly cost the life of a fellow team mate.

            Sure Kitty and Kurt had given her glances of concern, but the others weren't so sympathetic. The underclassmen at the institute when they passed her by in the halls or bumped into her in the kitchen vanished their smiles replacing them with clamped shut mouths and dilated pupils. They flinched more visibly when they touched her through clothing on accident. They wouldn't even stay in the same room as her. She couldn't blame them either. She'd be scared too. She could understand the terror that shot through them at the sight of the girl who nearly murdered the strongest and toughest of the X-men without even doing much more than lifting a finger.

            Jean of course would saunter by her with that perfect way of walking and that perfect control she held and give her a look of unabridged disgust. As if Rogue could control what she had done… like she had done it on purpose. She didn't want to hurt anyone but miss little perfect couldn't seem to grasp that fact. Had she not remembered who had saved her from her power surge?

            Rogue bit her lip remembering that moment… that moment Jean's soul collided with her own…Jean taking control of her and talking through her temporarily… At that very moment Scott had gripped her forearms without fear… he didn't hesitate. He wanted to touch her… but only because she harbored that girl's perfect untainted psyche.

            She wanted to believe he wanted to hold onto her… console her because she had to touch yet again another person… but that hadn't been the case at all. He didn't even show the least bit of concern for her. It was all for Jean. And it would always be for Jean.

            Even now when she just needed a little encouragement from the leader of the X-men he didn't go out of his way and part with his perfect girlfriend for just one second and ask how she was. He didn't even do it to set an example for the rest of the team to let them know she wasn't going to hurt anyone, that it was okay and that she wasn't going to flip out and kill them all… But then again she really could do just that.

            Rogue held her breath. She had to get out of here. How could she stay in this place when she endangered each and every one of their lives? She was going to snap again. She could feel it. The psyches tugged at her consciousness.

            "Leave meh alone," she whispered pushing them deep inside of her mind with the help of Logan's psyche. He was still freshly absorbed and under her control. That is until he woke back up from his comma.

            Rogue opened her eyes looking straight into little Jamie's. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing uttered from his throat. He just stared breathing hard as the girl before him frowned. She frowned…. Because she could hear the boy's heart beating in his chest faster and faster… she could smell his fear…all because of Logan's powers.

            "Jamie…" she began but he suddenly backed up a step, "It's alright… Ah'm not gonna hurt ya."

            He didn't seem so convinced as he robotically nodded and sprinted off to his room as fast as his legs could carry him.

That was it. This wasn't the first time she had lost it to the psyches and she doubted this would be the last. She should be able to control her powers! She was only endangering everyone if she stuck around. If the psyches ever accidentally killed any one of them she'd never be able to forgive herself. She couldn't take it anymore! She couldn't take looking into all their innocent faces. She would surly murder each and every one of them! Moisture welled as she swung open the mansion's entrance doors, padded down the steps and smacked into something hard.

            Rogue fell over backwards onto her butt causing her skirt to fly up. She instantly shoved the cloth downwards to conceal herself as her face streaked with pink at the predicament. How embarrassing. She shifted her gaze upward.

            "Purple today, chère?" Remy commented extending a hand to her, "It matches y'r scarf."

            The pink shading her cheeks suddenly darkened to a very angry red. "What the hell are ya doin' here ya goddamn pervert?!"

            "Enjoyin' de view." he remarked as a corner of his lips tilted upward.

            Rogue shoved her gloves on and smacked his hand away. "Ah don't need yo' help thank ya very much!" She huffed folding her arms as she stood. "So get the hell outta mah way!"

            Gambit blinked side stepping in front of the new path she chose and instantly smirked at her scowl. "Where y' headed off t' in such a hurry, petit?"

            "None o' yo' business!" She snapped and shoved his chest yet the man firmly stood his ground unchanging as if she hadn't done so at all.

            "Do Remy here a favor chère," he stated more than asked as he slipped his sunglasses off his face. His demon eyes sparked the flame that burned down her forest green ones causing her to advert her gaze to his tank top clad chest. She blinked for a moment at how tight the cloth clung to his muscles that seemed to ripple out of every inch of his body. Okay so he worked out. Anyone could exercise and be that good looking if they gave it time, but it was nothing new. All of the team members of the X-men resembled that athletic toned shapeliness… but not to such perfection. His body was almost like a work of art. Unlike the usual straight rectangle of a man's chest his curved like an upside-down triangle with broadened shoulders slimming down to lithe long legs.

            "An' tell meh why should Ah do anythang for yo' sorry ass?" she snapped planting her hands onto her hips.

            "Jus' take Remy to de prof', non?" He tilted his head and slithered his best pity-this-gorgeous-creature smile across his face. It always won the ladies over.

            "Screw you!" Well most times.

            "Oui? Bien, Merci!" Gambit exclaimed gripping her wrist as he dragged the girl back inside.

            Rogue halted swearing and struggling once she felt her silk gloves slipping off of her arm. That was all she needed, she mused noticing the fingerless cloth worn on his hands. What was the point of those things anyways? It's not like they kept him warm or anything to that extent. Probably for looks. Rogue shot him her dark narrowed eyed gaze as he smirked with obvious feigned innocence. Yes it had to be for looks with a man that arrogant.

            "Why do y'all wanna see the professah anyways?" she questioned trying to pry his fingers off her with her free hand.

            "You'll see chère," he responded gesturing for her to move ahead of him.

            "Don't stare at mah ass, Cajun," she warned taking him into the hall to the right of the stairs, "Or Ah'll be sure that's the last thang ya ever see!"

            "No problem since Remy prefer t' see it in dose mignon petit panties o' y's."

            Rogue stopped dead in her tracks.

            "Dat's twice now, non?"

            The girl whirled around. "Do ya want ta make it to his office without being castrated or what?"

            Gambit merely motioned his hand across his lips as if he were zipping it shut and flashed her another one of his impish smirks.

            He had no idea what he was dealing with. Rogue had built up so much pent up frustration in the last few days since the Danger Room was off limits due to repairs, not to mention no sparring sessions of any sort because Logan wasn't there to lead them. Mr. McCoy as a substitute for training activities had the students play no-powers sports, however Rogue never liked to attend those. It was far too dangerous for her as they heightened the chances of her coming in skin-to-skin contact with others. She basically spent her days inside of her room practically throwing Kitty out except to sleep. Rogue occasionally dragged her feet to the infirmary to check on Logan, or when everyone was asleep she padded down into the kitchen for a little something to keep her alive.

            "This is it," the Goth pointed out, "You can let go of mommy's hand now."

            "Would y' discipline Remy if he refused?" he questioned staring down at her.

            Rogue ripped her arm away from him sneering in utter disgust. "Is sex ever not on yo' mind?"

            "Y' overwhelm, Remy, chère. Can't help it when y' so belle like a fallen angel coming to steal dis t'ief's heart away." She folded her arms seemingly unconvinced causing him to quickly add, "Not t' mention y' always flashin' y'r unmentionables at Remy."

            "WHAT?!" she screamed slapping him across the face, "You sick fucking pervert! Ah was not –"

            The professor telepathically cleared his throat at the two outside his door and mentally projected to them, "Please if you would step inside my office."

            "Now look what ya did ya stupid Cajun," Rogue mumbled grabbing the handle to the door, opened it, and took a seat before Xavier's desk.

            Gambit settled into the one beside her with nothing short of the Cherisher-cat grin displayed across his features, which caused her to want to beat that pretty little face of his into a pulp. Wait…pretty little face? Rogue held her head. Yeah so what this was twice now she was admiring his looks. Big deal a girl can look. He was a sight to see until he opened that stupid mouth of his. Rogue folded her arms trying to think of anything but the man beside her. All she needed was her thoughts to be over heard by the professor. How embarrassing that would be…

            "I was expecting you," Xavier addressed to him as he leaned his elbows on the wooden desk, "Have you had enough time to come to a decision?"

            Rogue blinked. What was going on? Oh no… All of that discussion on recruiting the Acolytes Mr. McCoy ranted on about suddenly came back to haut her. Her worst nightmare was about to happen…

            "Oui," Gambit responded, "Me an' de boys talked it over an' decided it would be best not to join."

            Rogue immediately relaxed as she slumped down in her chair. Oh thank god!

            "But," he continued, "We t'ink it'd be best in de mean time t' call a truce between de two teams. Don't want Magneto t' get upset when he comes back home an' finds no help waitin' for 'em."

            "Alright Gambit," the professor nodded as he placed his finger tips together, "That seems fair. But I do want to let you know that you are free to come on the premises, if you need food, shelter, or training."

            "WHAT?!" Rogue shouted unable to just sit back and watch her mentor make such a horrible mistake, "Are y'all crazy?! They're the enemy! Ya can't just let them waltz ovah here anytime they want! What if they try ta hack the file systems an' steal secrets on our security? Especially while he just sat here an' said he's still workin' for Mags!"

            "Please calm yourself Rogue," Xavier soothed leaning back in his wheelchair, "I want to make it clear to the students that we are to treat everyone with fairness and kindness, both fellow mutant and human alike. Having them train here or use any other part of the property will also benefit us in future battles with them. We will know their strengths and weaknesses." The professor held his hand up to cut off her near interruption, "And yes I do know that would mean they would learn ours as well, but as a result it would increase both team's fighting skills and everyone will have better control over their powers. And isn't that what this school is all about? Learning to accept others and overcome the obstacles of our gifts?"

            Rogue folded her arms and closed her eyes to avoid the swamp rat's smug smirk of triumph. The little bastard had somehow managed to slither his way into the professor's ever bountiful pool of sympathy, but little did her teacher know he was going to coil around that weakness and strangle him for all his secrets. Rogue was so sure of it.

            "Looks like y' goin' t' be seein' more of dis ragin' Cajun, chère," Remy purred draping an arm around her shoulders.

            "Gawd damn it!"

            Magneto. Eric Magnus Lehnsherr. Ability to harness the power of magnetism. One weakness and one weakness only. Age.

            No one can be timeless. One can only prevent the inevitable process of growing old. However, Magnus has never believed in never. He obsesses to the point of madness. Obsesses over this passion second to his will to save mutants from the tyranny of human kind. Perhaps it goes hand in hand. Maybe he thinks if he were to grow too old or die he wouldn't be able to stop them from hunting them down. Maybe he has always been afraid of losing power. Afraid that when he grows old and frail he won't be able to defend himself like he once had.

            Fear.

            Such an emotion can drive a person to do drastic desperate things. Drive them to do things they normally wouldn't. Dive them to things they wished they never had. That is if they could remember…

            **Authors Note:** Okay what do you guys think? Did I get you to believe in those first few paragraphs that I killed off Logan? Hehe. So how about Remy and the Acolytes hanging around the mansion without actually joining them. I needed Remy to hang around Rogue a little more and figured that would be a better way of doing it then having Rogue run away. Even though I could definitely see her doing that… it's always done and I wanted to try something a little new. The other choice was having them join… and that's always done a lot or at least just Remy joining anyways. I'm all about that pop and fresh feel. Haha. I dunno. And no that last little section about Magneto isn't written for no reason. It has meaning. Bwhahaha. But wouldn't you like to know what! Please review it makes me happy!


	8. Ch05: Chaos Sea's Calm

**Author's Note:** I know Friday night is supposed to be the weekly update not Saturday afternoon… I was swamped with work all week and didn't even get a chance to look at it until last night. *sighs* I rushed out this chapter because I didn't want to have to make you guys wait until next week. Hopefully it's okay and not too odd or jumbled since most of this was written in a state of pure exhaustion. Oh well tell me how it is!

**Anarchy-lust:** Please understand that I was not bitching at your review in the slightest. I was merely explaining to you why I had it that way and apologizing to you. Again I will say this to you: I'm not trying to be stereotypical and if I have offended you in any way I am deeply sorry. Please continue to tell me what you think so I can adjust my writing accordingly. However, I can't just change what's already done. I'll be sure to tone down the obstruction of Pyro's speech but I can't completely change it or it will look very odd that he's suddenly talking different. Anyway, the next story I write will most definitely be different. Thank you for reviewing.

Thanks so very much for your guys reviews! Okay on with the story!

**Veins of Glass**

By Raven the Dark Angel

**Chapter 5: Chaos Sea's Calm**

            Rogue held her head. This wasn't happening… Didn't she already have enough problems in her life? Now on top of all the crap she'd have to deal with the stupid playboy that couldn't take no for an answer. Why couldn't he just go bother someone else? She was so sure any single girl at the institute would drop to the floor and kiss his flirtatious feet for the tiniest morsel of his attention, including perfect Jean despite the man was an enemy. She could just hear her excuse of "but the professor said…" It was all enough to make her bolt the door shut in her room and dwell there forever.

            "Ah, Rogue," the professor called her attention, "I'm glad you showed up here as well. I was meaning to get a hold of you sooner but some important paper work needed to be attended to."

            "What do ya need?" she questioned throwing Remy's arm draped around her shoulder back at him as if it were some infectious disease.

            "It's about the incident that occurred in the training facility."

            Rogue cringed at the mere mention of the Danger Room. She just wanted desperately to forget all about what happened and block it from her mind completely like every other memory she kept. The images were still very fresh and clear and probably wouldn't blur and fade for a long while yet. If only she could speed up the process… If only she could forget everything and be stripped of her powers forever… and just lead the simple kind of life she always dreamed of… 

            "I want to address the other students about it," her mentor continued, "I've noticed they seemed to have distended themselves from you because of your powers. I can not have such behavior tolerated. I apologize for not getting around to this sooner, Rogue."

            The girl blinked. Was he saying he actually cared…? He actually did pay attention to her and the behavior of others around her? Maybe he really was just busy all the time so he couldn't focus on her as much as he liked. But she thought he was scared of her as well… Maybe he still was… However his cause for helping anyone who was in need clouded all his reasoning. It was his life to help mutants with their powers and he could not look the other way when it came to her especially since she was so desperately in need compared to everyone else.

            Xavier smiled at the two before him and held his hands to his temples as he sent out the telepathic message, "X-men I need everyone in my office immediately, I have some news and matters at hand that I'd like to discuss with all of you."

            The man moaned as he slowly sat up in the white-walled room. He pushed his hair back and slowly opened his eyes and scanned the room taking notice of the surgical instruments strewn across the counter opposite of him. He placed his hand down on the rather stiff mattress. A hospital… had he just undergone an operation of some sort? But for what…?

            So many questions racked his weary mind… he was so very tired. He needed to sleep… Slinking back down into the covers he closed his eyes.

            The students hurriedly piled into the room all with shocked and questioning glances at the sight of one of their enemies sitting casually next to a seething Rogue.

            "Now that everyone is here," Xavier announced, "I see that you've all taken note to our guest."

            Remy smirked at the crowd enjoying their sudden hushed whispers and turned toward the girl next to him, whom simply huffed as she rocked one of her crossed legs.

            "As some of you may know, Magneto has taken a leave of absence and left his Acolytes to fend for themselves. I can not see just leaving them to struggle, and I have taken it upon myself to offer the three boys a place to stay or anything else they need. I want you all to welcome Gambit and his team mates as if they were one of us."

            "But professor!" Scott piped up however the elder lifted his hand to silence him.

            "I understand your disapproval and hesitance toward these boys, but they are fellow mutants and I require your entire acceptance of them and like wise to Rogue."

            The students suddenly grew quiet as a few lowered their heads. They all knew their behavior towards their teammate had completely changed ever since what happened so shortly ago. Who wouldn't be afraid of the girl? Especially since she confined herself to her room only to emerge and robotically carry out eating and bathing. The rude loud-mouth southerner who always voiced her blunt opinions had been replaced by an ominously quiet machine. Ever since what happened Rogue was simply not Rogue.

            Sure the events had frightened them to the very core, but it was something they had experienced before. They all knew Rogue was a mutant potential to snap at any moment, but they all had forgotten about it. She had only lost control once… Only once, something so easy to slip from the mind after time. But now that it had come to the surface again, things were different. They were reminded of how dangerous she was and this time with damaging results. But more over than anything else, she didn't snap back to her old self. Rogue wasn't sighing at Kitty's incessant gossip or screaming at Jubes and Amara's pop music blaring from the rec room. She wasn't shoving Bobby aside at his usual prank or recite of a joke. She wasn't yelling in annoyance at the fact she couldn't grab a hold of Kurt because of his constant teleportation. She wasn't groaning at the sight of seeing Ray and Roberto arguing again or laughing right out loud at Sam tripping over or dropping something. She simply wasn't herself.

            That very fact caught everyone off guard. They all knew something was terribly off and come to various conclusions. Had the psyches remained in control? Will they take over again? She had just attempted to kill herself just a few days before the incident… Was she really okay? They were all uncertain. And like the humans who feared them, they feared her because of their lack of understanding and knowledge.

            Their silence after the professor's words displayed their guilt. Guilty because they knew they shouldn't have treated her the way they did. They shouldn't have made her feel like a complete freak, a monster because of her lack of control. They should know better since they had all been in her place amongst the mutant-haters.

            "Do we all understand?" the professor questioned flitting his eyes across all his students yet lingering his gaze on Scott.

            The leader of the kids adjusted his red glasses on his face and reluctantly nodded bringing a smile to Xavier's face. "Good," he responded, "You are all dismissed."

            Rogue stood up as soon as the others shuffled out of the room. More than anything she wanted to get away from her former enemy. His radiant aura of his cocky attitude was starting to make her sick. She needed some time to herself, but first she needed to see Logan.

            The whole time the professor prattled his little speech, she couldn't help but to think of him. Him laying in that bed with all those machines beeping around him, keeping track of his weak unsteady pulse. She knew the man hated hospitals. When he'd wake up he'd surely hold his breath in horror of his surroundings and suddenly calm down realizing he was in the institute. She wanted to be there when he woke up. She wanted to say how sorry she was for putting him through what she had and help sooth him that he wasn't back to being experimented on.

            However a hand quickly caught her wrist once she stepped out of the office. She didn't have to turn to know who it was and instead of glancing at him at all she chose to stare at the wall in front of her.

            The man came around to her side and flashed her a warm smile instead of his usual smirks. What was his problem?

            "Hey chère, somet'in' wrong?" he questioned, his grip becoming gentler.

            "Ain't nothin' wrong with meh!" she shot back as she whirled her face to his and narrowed her eyes causing the emerald depths to darken considerably.

            Remy held up his hands in defense but before he could utter one word the girl sprinted down the hall.

            "I see that you're awake," the man spoke softly as he stepped into the room.

            The one in the bed opened his eyes at the sound of shoes clacking against the floor and an unfamiliar voice. He shifted his gaze to the left taking sight of a dark-haired doctor dawned in a while medical coat along with a stethoscope.

            "How do you feel?" he questioned and approached the bed as he glanced at the clipboard in his hand.

            "Exhausted…"

            The doctor tilted his head to the side curiously watching his patient hold a hand to his head. "That is all?"

            "Actually…" he trailed off now gazing at his hands. Young, perfect, strong hands. "I'm…where am I? Was I sick…? I can't seem to remember…"

            "I would not call it sick," he simply stated as he wrote a few things down.

            The man in the bed blinked a few moments as he searched his thoughts and memories for any reason to be here and where this place was… however as he kept trying to draw any conclusion he suddenly held his breath. His heart thumped his chest at a quickened pace when something very important dawned on him. He didn't know who he was.

            Rogue's chest heaved up and down as her lungs burned, yet she completely ignored the pain and pushed open the infirmary door. She didn't know why exactly she ran like that. However it didn't matter. She was here now.

            "Hi, Logan," she whispered to his motionless form. The girl pushed her self up on the side of the bed being very careful not to touch him, not fearing skin-to-skin contact but more out of not causing more harm to his physical aliments.

            "Ah know Ah'm probably borin' ya by tellin' ya Ah'm sorry again. But Ah am." She spoke pinning her gaze to the tiled floor. Her throat suddenly became dry.

            "Ah can feel yo' powah's slippin from meh. Ya'll should be wakin up in a day or two. Yo' probably gonna be mad."

            She slowly strolled her eyes over to his closed ones. The man before her looked so peaceful, sleeping so very soundly. Usually if one could catch a rare glimpse of his resting form he held a furrowed pained expression, most likely out of a nightmare of his past. But now he would have looked completely relaxed if it weren't for his pale slightly damn skin and tubes that slipped down his throat and another attached to his nose which screamed of sickened trauma.

            Her breathing halted as she chocked against the guilt.

            "Ya should've let meh die, Logan," she managed to croak the words, "Then ya wouldn't be here now. Ah'm no good. Ah'm a curse. Ah can't stay around ya. What will it take for ya'll to understand that? Does one of ya need ta die before ya get it?"

            She slowly clamped her eyes shut.

            "Ah neveah wanted ta harm ya. It was the psyches… Ah'm so sorry. Ah wish Ah could control mahself. But Ah can't… Ah… Ah don't care what ya say or think, Logan. Ah know what Ah have ta do…"

            A tear slithered down her cheek.

            "Ah'm sorry…Ah really wish things could be different. But they ain't eveah gonna be, and its useless ta think they will."

            She opened up the blade of her pocket knife.

            There were a number of different things she could have done. A number of options. She could have stayed in the professor's office, snagged Kitty or even Kurt to the side and talked things over with them. She could have ran out of the mansion like she planned to earlier or even stalk up to her room and sleep as much as possible. However she found herself next to her closest friend contemplating suicide.

            She gripped the handle on the blade tightly blanching her knuckles as she bared the pain. So much pain… but most of all the guilt at the fact she caused so much pain to others. She couldn't live like this. She didn't want to live like this.

            A sudden intake of breath ripped her lungs as her scarf began to dampen at her moisturized anguish. This was her only real choice. Someday maybe everyone would understand why she had to do this. Logan despite the fact that she knew would be hurt the most would be the first to figure out the real reason for this. Out of selfishness they'd all claim. Perhaps partly… but it was more out of self sacrifice. Sacrifice to save them all from the horror she would unleash if she could never gain back control from the psyches.

            This was to Kitty and her bubbly gossip, to Kurt and his happy smile, to Logan sneaking liquor in his coffee, to the younger students and their carefree attitudes, to Scott for his skills as a leader, and even to Jean for her perfect life. All lives that should be lived and never cut short because of a disgusting leach like her sucked them all dry of the wonderful future the all could possess.

            "Goodbye," she mouthed the words and slowly lifted the blade only for it to be completely slapped out of her hand. She blinked watching in dazed confusion as the knife skidded across the floor. Rogue mechanically returned her gaze forward.

            "What de hell, chère?!" Gambit shouted before her, "What's de matter wit' y'?!"

            God no… why was he here? He should just stay out of this! He didn't have any idea of what was going on. He had no right to stop her from doing what simply must be done. It was her life or there's! As simple as that.

            "Ah told ya nothin'!" She screamed trying her best to sound menacing but her shaky voice proved otherwise.

            "Bull fucking shit!" he responded enunciating the words and tightly gripped her arms at the top of her long gloves "What's de matter?! Tell me now!"

            Rogue sat in silence tearing her gaze away from him. His eyes were on fire with angry passion, but what did he care? She hardly knew the man at all. What was it his business?

            "Answer me!" he demanded lifting her chin with his finger and thumb.

            The girl before him glanced back into his eyes for a second only to look the other way. Any direction but his. She was tired of trying to explain to everyone why she couldn't possibly live. They all thought life was just some big happy time filled with fun and games. They didn't know what it was like feel the harsh stab of fate rolling the dice against them every time they turned around. She never had anything good come her way. Sure she was glad she met the people at the institute, but that had eventually morphed into something to be tortured by. Everything eventually would destroy her. Everything around her no matter which way she ran. Alone was the only way not to feel the guilt that tore her everyday, however alone would also destroy her as well. There was nothing she could do. No choice she could possibly make that could change that. This was her life. It never ended.

            "Leave meh alone," Rogue requested trying to lean back away from his grasp. She didn't feel like being touched, yet Remy stepped forward and placed his hands on her face holding her tightly to look at him. Why did he insist upon the eye contact?

            "Please chère," he purred barely audible as his fingers gently caressed her hair.

            Her heart seemed to triple its pace as she found herself drawing breath after jagged breath. His palm slithered around her neck thrusting a harsh wave of shivers to assault her spine. He leaned his face towards her. So very close… She wanted to shut her eyes yet somehow she couldn't look away from his, as if she were trapped by him like a rattlesnake and his prey. What was he doing to her?

            She managed to swallow the hard lump lodged deep in her throat when she realized something. Gambit had done this to her before… When she found him in her room and he asked her about her powers that day he pinned her against the wall and stared down at her while closing as much space around them as possible… but what the heck was he doing? Rogue sighed unwilling to stir the psyches too much but she had to figure out why. Then it dawned on her.

            Back when she first met him she looked into his eyes. She found herself frozen unable to move completely mesmerized by his strange demonic red orbs that were almost dizzying to even glance at. He smirked triumphantly and handed her the king of hearts. She robotically took the card as he stepped back and flashed her his smug teeth again only to hold his hand up in a wave and spring behind him onto a crate. With the eye contact lost she blinked back to reality and flung the glowing paper watching it explode in mid air.

            Was it some part of his power? Some kind of hypnotizing spell? She didn't know but now she was completely trapped by him once again. What did he want from her?

            A new wave of tears splashed down her face. "Ah wanna die," she whispered, "Ah can't live. Ah'm not allowed ta…"

            Remy furrowed his brow, "Why? Tell Remy what's wrong."

            "The psyches… oh Gawd the psyches are killin' meh," she replied, "They're…" Moisture welled in her eyes blurring her vision. She could no longer see the man before her and quickly covered her face. "Get the fuck away from meh! It's none o' yo' business, swamp rat!"

            Her head pounded. Everything ached. But more than anything she felt pissed off at herself for allowing whatever thing he did to her to take place. She would never look at him again as long as she lived. Those god damn eyes were Satan!

            "Stop touchin' meh!" She growled drawing up her leg and kicking him square in the chest. Gambit backed up with a mixture of confusion and concern slammed across his face, however she didn't glance up to see it. Her green orbs fixated upon the ground.

            "What'd ya do ta meh?!" She demanded fisting her hands. God she was so fucking angry right now she just needed to tear apart something, and right now that something was Remy LeBeau.

            "Chère, Gambit jus' practicing a little o' his empathy powers, dat's all," he explained trying to sooth the girl before him. This never happened before. This wasn't supposed to happen, usually once he gained a hold of someone he could manipulate them fairly well, and not snap out of it until he allowed it. What had gone wrong? Remy smiled innocently as he back up against the wall and held his hands up as if to call a truce. As long as he remained within eye contact…

            He watched the girl rip the wet stream off her face with her hand, and finally realized the tears must have obstructed her vision.

            "Ah'm gonna kill ya swamp rat!" she screamed snatching his collar and drew a fist back ready to pound his face in any second.

            "Alright, alright," he pleaded hastily, "Remy so sorry, chère! He never do it again! He promises!"

            Rogue hesitantly lowered her arm and dragged her gloved fingers along the fold of his coat. She sniffed. Rubbing her eyes she lifted them to his face once again and relaxed seeing that he wasn't going to use whatever he used on her again. Well… at least for the time being.

            "See?" he questioned.

            However she wasn't paying attention to him at all anymore. Something far more important had now caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat only to pound faster and make up for the loss in an instant. Her eyes slowly widened. My god…

            "Hey chère-"

            "Shh! Shut up!" she quickly hushed him. A tiny smile over took her features as she let out an incredulous sigh. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe it at all. She couldn't hear anything… nothing but the tiny beeping of the machines' in the room and the soft breathing of the man before her. Nothing but that… It was so quiet.

            "Oh gawd!" she cried and clasped her arms around Remy uncaring that she was now hugging the man she hated the most. She ignored the wide-eyed shock spread across him and the sudden smirk as he wrapped his arms around her. Whatever was making her this thrilled was perfectly okay with him right now.

            "Cajun! The psyches!" she exclaimed squeezing him tight with glee, "They're gone! They're gone!"

**Author's Note:** Wee something good for a change! So what do you think so far? I'm trying to put splashes of the under classmen in a little, but I have no real idea what they act like since I missed the episodes they were featured in. *sigh* I just glanced at some sights to get a little idea. Hopefully not too off, but if it is you know why. Anyway, next time the rest of the Acolytes come for a visit. What will Logan think of all this when he wakes up? Chaos ensues of course! Please review!


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